On Etiquette and Gifts

It's a Chip n' Dip!

So it seems that weddings are not entirely about love and commitment and fabulous crafty projects. I like to flick through wedding forums and have found the Vogue forum in particular pretty interesting for reading other people’s perspective on things. It has however made me aware of the millions of little traditions and important etiquette that I would never have even have thought of! There are so many little things that could potentially offend people that I’m sure it’s impossible to be able to please everyone. One topic that seems to bring about a lot of debate is that of gifts vs. registry vs. ‘wishing well’.

Realistically, these days not every couple was living at home with their parents right up until their wedding day. People are moving out on their own, marrying later in life. The tradition of guests personally choosing a wonderful household gift to be used every day in their new life together is lovely, but in many cases antiquated. In cases where the guest is completely uninformed about the couple’s situation and tastes, it can be really impractical – I don’t need another toaster, and don’t have room in my tiny apartment for a spare one. I don’t want an ugly chip n’ dip (ala Mad Men). Not that I wouldn’t say anything less than how much I love it if I did receive one, of course. I’m that polite at least.

But it seems like it’s really difficult to suggest a more practical alternative without offending somebody. Possibly the most practical, a cash gift or ‘wishing well’ is something that plenty of people vehemently hate, and consider the height of bad etiquette, even with a little poem. Of course, in other cultures giving money is the norm and doing otherwise would be considered strange, if not impolite.

It’s easy to get caught up in the etiquette of the whole thing and second guess your decisions, but in the end I think it’s impossible to have a wedding without offending somebody and to try and avoid it is futile.